The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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