cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
