I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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