So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
