There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
