I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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