if you like me you must not know who I am
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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