Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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