I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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