He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
