I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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