Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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