My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
