guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
