Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize