Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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