I just made out with a guy for $7.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
