Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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