OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this boner is exhausting
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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