The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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