I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize