I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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