The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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