This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Please don't give away my fajitas
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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