can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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