I wish i was in the wii world.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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