He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
