look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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