I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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