I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
