could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
