But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
a search helicopter?!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
