He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
