"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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