??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
