I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
