I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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