picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
