So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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