fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize