At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
