Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
