So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
