ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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