Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
