it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
