she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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