are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize