You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
