This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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