sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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