Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
