I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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