my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
