Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
