i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
