I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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