If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
