..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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