She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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