I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
