DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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