How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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