Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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