i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
