Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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