My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
