I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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