I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you will always have a special place in my vag
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize