what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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